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Cheating Husband

I am a cheating husband:

I am that person - a cheating partner. I understand how I got myself into this situation and have removed myself from it. I feel so bad, I cannot begin to explain just how bad. I have been married for nearly 20 years and for most of that time I had felt as though I was a spectator in it. My wife controls everything and has a way of making me feel worthless at times. This, however, cannot be used an excuse for what I did. She does not know about it and I do not want to tell her. I know she would leave me and I would lose my son as well. I know these are all things I should have thought about before getting into this situation. I want to go back to being the husband I was yet better. But I feel so very bad.

What can I do to save my marriage from my cheating?

Here are some things for you to consider:

1.  You appear to be distressed by and remorseful for what you have done.  Perhaps that will provide you with some motivation to work toward a different future.

2.  While a difficult relationship may make it easier to be unfaithful, ultimately the decision is yours and yours alone.  You cannot share the blame with anyone else.  At the same time you have the opportunity to share the responsibility for your marriage relationship.

3.  If you don't like your marriage relationship, work to improve it.  This website is full of articles and advice on how to improve relationships with problem solving skills, communication skills and much more.  

4. Infidelity can not only ruin a relationship but it can also cause the cheating partner tremendous stress for a very long period of time. 

5.  Once you have read the book "How to Survive Cheating" you will also want to work on forgiving yourself.  This article on forgiveness is an excellent start to help you move beyond your pain.

6.  We also recommend our material on self-esteem.  There are over a dozen pages on our site relating to self-esteem.  Start here.

You are to be commended for trying to change your behavior.  You will feel so much better when you no longer have to lie, cheat and hide.  Replace that behavior with a commitment to being a better contributor to the relationships that really matter in life.

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