|Is the Computer Getting in the Way of Your Relationship?
Lately we have heard from several of our clients that their mate spends too much time at the computer and not enough time with them. Computers can be escapism from the relationship or stress of everyday problems and concerns. It is a form of withdrawal from the relationship if overused.
How can you tell if you are spending too much time at the computer and not enough time in your relationship? Ask your mate. They well tell you if they feel left out or lonely because of the time you spend at the computer. Then listen to your mate if they feel you are spending too much time away from your relationship. Make some compromises on the time spent. Talk it out and find out how you both can be satisfied in the relationship and divide your time accordingly.
For those of you who's mate wont ask if they are spending too much time at the computer then gently approach the subject. Ask for an appointment to discuss relationship time and quality. State how you feel by using "I" statements and not passing blame. For example you might say "Honey I am feeling lonely and left out in this relationship." Or "I miss you being next to me and wish we could spend more time together." The say "What can we do together to solve this problem? I am willing to do the following…" Be prepared to suggest ways in which you can spend more time together and still allow time for the computer work or surfing the web your mate likes to do.