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Listening Skills Self-Evaluation

How well you and your partner listen is critical to effective communication . Effective communication is the life-blood of all good relationships.

This listening skills rating is a self-evaluation of the current level of your listening skills as well as what you perceive your partner’s listening skills to be. Please complete the form at this time and, if your partner is working along with you, he/she should do so as well. Take the evaluations separately, review the scoring which follows on a page indicated at the bottom, and then get together to discuss the results. We suggest that you print the evaluations and complete them on paper so you will have print copies to compare.  Be sure to keep an open mind so you may learn and grow.

Click Here for the New Fully Automated Online Self-Evaluation

You may use the automated online version or the following manual version.  The multiple-choice automated version includes a discussion of the answers.


Think about how often you do the following and write in the number that you think matches that frequency?

On a scale from 1 to 5, give yourself a score as follows: 1 = never, 2 = rarely, 3 = sometimes, 4 = often, 5 = very often.

behavior score
I avoid staying on any one subject with my partner
I make assumptions about my partners feelings or thoughts.
I respond to my partner’s suggestions or opinions with, "Yes, but…"
I bring up past issues during current disagreements.
I interrupt my partner’s conversation.
I use sarcasm or jokes to respond when my partner talks
I respond to a complaint with a complaint.
I insult and criticize my partner.
I respond to my partner with phrases like, "That’s ridiculous."
I see only my point of view.
TOTAL (Add up your scores.)

Now You rate your partner’s listening skills: How often do they do the following? On a scale from 1 to 5, give them a score as follows: 1 = never, 2 = rarely, 3 = sometimes, 4 = often, 5 = very often.

behavior score
My partner avoids staying on a subject until it is solved  
My partner make assumptions about my feelings or thoughts.  
My partner comments with, "Yes, but…" to my suggestions or opinions.  
My partner brings up past issues during current disagreements.  
My partner interrupts my conversation.  
My partner use sarcasm or jokes to respond when I talk.  
My partner responds to my complaints with a complaint.  
My partner insults and criticizes me  
My partner responds to me with phrases like, "That’s ridiculous."  
My partner see only their point of view.  
TOTAL (Add up your scores for your partner.)  


Make a note of the total scores for yourself and your partner and go to ratings discussion and Listening Advice.

This "Listening Skills Rating" is taken from the book "Talk to Me: How to Create Positive,
Loving Communication." You will find many helpful tips on how to enhance your listening skills in the book. 


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